Seasons of Love...

Okay so last night was the lovely Rowan's final performance with Theater Complete. We went to see her, and it was quite lovely. Then came the after party, since we knew most of the members of TC from semesters previous, we scored an invite, by 'we' I mean Katie and I.

I knew there would be drinking, we all did. Of course within a few moments Simon was D-R-U-N-K drunk! Then came David, Dan, Sophie, Luke and Amanda. Of course there were the night of the party couples that were making out, and unfortunate things happened to David :(. It makes me sad to see the BFFL's get hurt.

Dan was quite fun, by the time he was drunk I was intoxicated by lack of sleep, so I was amused simply by poking him, and he was entertained by me poking him in the side and the numb feeling that the alcohol had created made him think he was just randomly falling over.

I did spend most of the night helping Keavy hand out water and food to the drunk kids every so often, to keep them from regretting the night. I also cleaned up as I walked through the house picking up beer bottles, and Pepsi cans as they were left empty on tables and other flat surfaces and bringing the drunk kids water when they asked, to keep them all hydrated.

The little bit of beer I had making my cheeks warm and the lack of sleep from the nights previous making me act more intoxicated than a group of the other guests, I eventually grew tired, and by the time most people had gone home Katie, Rowan and I were nearly asleep on John's incredibly comfortable couch.

It was 3 AM before we got back to Rowan's house, and about half an hour before we crashed in her room, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets playing on her laptop, we were out in less than twenty minutes.

We woke up randomly through out the morning, once I'm pretty sure to hear her younger brother ask us if we wanted Pizza. By one we were up and getting dressed, awaiting the arrival of my mother, coming to get us.

By two we were eating breakfast and by three we were leaving to go down town from my place. We wandered until we got to shoppers and needed to defrost ourselves, and then to phase two to look for costume parts, and finally to Indigo, for frappicinos and a cupcake from the Starbucks upstairs.

We wandered through the sales and music section before going down to the teen slash manga area and got caught up in Magazines and Japanese comic books.

Next thing we knew it was five thirty, and we had to head back to my place. I quickly bought an interesting book, and a cheap calendar and some candy to finish off the balance on my twenty five dollar gift from Christmas.

We walked to the Metro and grabbed a frozen pizza for dinner and braved the harsh wind and cold walking back to my house.

We ate and then watch random shows on TV until about eight o'clock and then we had to drop Katie off at the AKA to meet up with Alison, Page and Britt.

Now I'm nice and warm curled up and home, and watching RENT on tv.

I'm glad I got my project done, but I feel bad for Mr. Rose, he will be marking our work until wednesday most likely, and the semesters marks were due yesterday...

Perfect pictures shattered like broken dreams

So yesterday I had the misfortune of stumbling upon the blog of an old friend.

I'd always known her life wasn't a perfect as she was able to make it seem, but reading about her life now, seriously brought me to tears. We hadn't really had much in the way of conversation since roughly grade nine, but she was someone that was really important to me growing up. I was the first kid in my class to welcome her on her first day at our old school, even if it was with a death-grip hug, when other kids got mad at her because she was wearing a dress on a gym day.

We played soccer together for, i think two years. I know she was on at least my first team, but I'm pretty sure she was on my third too.

I had always compared myself to her. Her looks, her grades, her musical, acting and writing talent, her seemingly perfect family (that one stopped as we got older). I'm sure from what I've read at this point of reading this she's think I was crazy, but it's the truth. Since I was always being compared to her, I started doing the same.

She's one of the nicest girls I've ever met, and I really wish life was being better to her, she deserves better than the shit some people through, and nobody's mother should call them fat, especially if they're as awesome as she is. Sure she's not one of those 'perfect' model that are like six feet tall and weigh like a hundred pounds or less. But she's still a beautiful girl even with the lack of stereotypical perfection. I mean I lack that look, so do most of my friends, and you know what, most of the time we can at least pretend like we're okay with that.

Plus I think if she looked like a model it would cause a rip in the time space continuum because then she'd be even more gorgeous, insanely talented and a million times better a school that me, which would just be annoying, because I couldn't bear to be compared to PLB if she were truly perfect.

Onto a different topic...

I've never been much for new years resolutions, and this year is no different, but a week or two ago, I resolved that I'm done with him. Most of you reading this probably knows who I mean but I'm done. I'm not going to date him again, not matter what sweet nothings he tries, I can't deal with his bull shit for another two years. I'll still be friends with him, and talk to him and care about him and stuff, but I can't go through another cycle of this with him.

I quite simply wouldn't be able to take it mentally, or emotionally. Plus he's one of the things that influences a certain habit of mine, that I'm not getting into.

Anyway, that's all for now.

Oh dear,

I don't know what to do with myself anymore.

I've been talking to one of my friends for a few hours now.

We started out with normal chatter, and then it evolved into a long discussion about my love life, or confusing mess of lack-there-of.

And then it turned into a conversation of complelely depession subject matter, and a good part about how my habits are pointless, useless and silly. I understand what she meant, and I know it's the truth but I just can't feel the same way.

I do the things I do because I somehow benefit from them.

Although I feel better having at least one of them know about it, I just wish I could get the other things off of my chest.

I want him to know how I feel and I don't care if he feels the same I just want to get over ALL of it.